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Escaping the Sea of Depression

by Rabiyya B., PA, USA

I remember that just last year I was a lost, confused, severelydepressed girl, and a big time pessimist. Not only that I also had a nasty, uncontrollable attitude. I was rude to my family,disrespectful to my parents, and I blamed them for my problems.

After a while I started blaming myself. I thought I didn’t deserve anything not even life. I was sinking deeper into a sea of severe depression. I was so depressed I did the biggest,most stupid crime of my life, I tried to commit suicide. I still regret it today, and I’m not proud of any of the other things I had done either. When I was hurting myself I was hurting my family just as much.

About three months ago I quickly started to recover. I’ve learned ways to control and deal with my anger. I write in my journal, or listen to music it calms me down. Now before I blame somebody I think over the facts first. I repeated positive thoughts to myself (like “I’m smart, beautiful etc.) over and over again daily to turn my negative body image around, and it actually worke

A book called “Learned Optimism” had a big impact on me because it helped me further understand my depression. It had tests that helped me turn negative thoughts into positive ones, and it told me how to become an optimist. As a pessimist I gave up and failed easily, thinking optimistically helped me to keep going even if I failed. Optimistic thinking helped me become less depressed.

I’m thankful for my mom and sister because they helped me the most when I was severely depressed. They stayed with me and never gave up on me no matter what I did or how much I didn’t deserve it. They were the only ones who understood my feelings. Most of all I’m thankful that God has given me another chance to live.